


instructions for living a life

by tnevmucric



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Time Loop, set in interrogation room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:47:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tnevmucric/pseuds/tnevmucric
Summary: “make it quick”, akira says the twelfth time.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro & Persona 5 Protagonist, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 4
Kudos: 170





	instructions for living a life

“Make it quick”, Akira says the twelfth time.

Goro shoots him in the mouth. He dies choking on his tongue.

He has a running theory that time bends to its own will, and that no matter how many times he gets shot, pleads for his life, stays resilient and quiet or tries to _join the dark side_ , he’ll always end up back where he started. Four walls. Bright lights. A throbbing in his body and a gun to his head. A stomachache.

His killer is in a cranberry coloured coat this time and his hair is wind-mussed, hanging tight in a ponytail while his fringe frames his face. His gloves are a warm, brown leather and he takes on an almost tired look, posture changing to adapt to the movement of his gun from his side to his front—a barrier. The fall of the guards body is almost slow, and the weight of him hitting the ground sends a waft of cologne towards Akira’s nose and causes Goro to look away briefly. His frown is deep, and he looks as though he hasn’t slept.

“I don’t know what to say to make it better”, he says, and Akira feels dizzy again.

“Something nice.” His tongue is heavy and his lips have pins and needles. He watches the rise and fall of Goro’s chest as the guard bleeds out onto the concrete floor.

“You’ve been very brave”, he says softly, like he isn’t holding a gun, like he’s comforting a child. “You’ve helped so many, and given courage to even more, but life will move on without you. Things you’ve stopped still happen every moment. Things that you aren’t privy to, things that you have nothing to do with, will continue in your absence. You can’t stay in this dream; you are alone, and you will die.”

“You’re with me.”

“I am”, Goro inclines his head slightly. “I’m afraid neither of us will survive this. I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to die, not anymore.”

“If you care about me that much then you wouldn’t do this”, Akira tries, but he’s so tired. “If you asked, I would help you. You know that.”

“I know.”

“So ask.”

Akira watches as Goro rolls the words in his mouth, tilts the gun side to side; an insight onto his thoughts.

“All these things and what to do with them”, Goro says eventually, the weight of the gun doesn’t seem to take strain on his wrist. “Our choices and their choices are what lead to different places and times. We overwhelm the world with all of the places we go. You could follow the trail right back to where we met, and find a different path in which we didn’t meet. I might’ve preferred that, now: for you to be an empty face. Unfortunately I agreed for my life to change when I met you.” Then a pause. “You’re awfully calm with a dead man beside you.”

“It’s been a long day.” Goro stares at him square on. “You know, someone I know once said that anger just might guide you in the right direction.”

“Anger has lead me here.”

“Desperation, maybe”, Akira swallows thickly, “but not anger.” Goro visibly twitches.

“I’m angry at you.”

“I know.”

“ _Don’t_ ”, and then there’s pain on Goro’s face. And Akira feels stranded in a conversation he doesn’t know how to juggle—by now, Goro would have killed him, or Sae would have walked in and Goro would have shot her, too, or Goro would have hit him then shot him but—“Don’t. Don’t.”

Akira doesn’t.

It takes a long time for Goro to look his way again, still bright and alien standing in the grey shadows of the room. His hand crawled to his stomach, gripping his vest, while the other held limply to the gun. It was slow, and as he lifted his head he blocked out the light above the door, like the standing silhouette of someone blocking the sun. Akira wonder how he looked, sitting there. He wondered how bad the bullet would hurt this time, or if he’d feel it at all.

He wondered if Goro was just as aware as he was, aware of Akira a few feet away, fists tight and face bruised, starved and intent, knots tangling in his hair. Ready for another try.

“That night outside Leblanc”, the spit in Akira’s mouth tastes of blood. It takes so much to try. “After we first went into Sae’s palace...” he trails off. Goro stares at him with a renewed sort of pain.

“I’ll never forget it”, he confesses. Akira hurts. He hurts and hurts and he hurts.

“Please”, his voice breaks, and he hopes this time the bullet actually kills him, or that the plan actually works and Sae will walk in with the phone or that he’ll wake up back home as if it were all a dream. “ _Please_.” He’s not sure what else he can say.

And then Goro speaks, and it’s like all Akira can see is his lips moving, shaping vowels and stringing words. 

“Would you let me kill him?”

He would, Akira thinks, from what little he knows. If it were just the two of them, he really would. Morals weren’t linear, and hypocritically they could refuse to abide by a set of rules. He tells Goro this, and watches him close his eyes.

“If we were standing in front of him”, Akira bites out, and something like shame wells in his throat, “I’d let you make your choice. You deserve that much.”

“And then I’d deserve jail.” He opens his eyes. “I wouldn’t be any better than him and yet I’d do it without remorse.”

“Why?”

Akira expects a gunshot, expects another cycle to begin, but instead Goro lowers the gun and stares at it, like he’s willing it to twist on himself and unload every bullet.

“Because I want to live”, he says, and fires.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!
> 
> — tnevmucric.carrd.co


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